Homo flirtatious / Homo koketus

 

Bike trails in Alta Vista Park, Redondo Beach, Los Angeles, California (2020)

(Versión en castellano, más abajo)

Both men and women do engage in it in equal parts. It’s a pervasive behavior, sometimes subconscious or automatic, sometimes very conscious and intentional. Flirtation is part of the human experience and there is no shame in its widespread manifestations. Why would there be shame in that which manifests naturally ? On the contrary, shameful would be to suppress it or mask it on the basis of moral rules, religious precepts or rigid considerations.

Flirting behavior does not necessarily seek to lure the other person into sex. Even though ending in bed could very well be the goal, more often than not, flirtation is about possibilities and games. The possibilities of new worlds and new relationships. The game of open rules, strengthening connections, expanding our sphere of influence and having fun while at it. When looked at it closely, flirtation serves the very purpose of enhancing the other’ self esteem while, at the same time, enhancing one’s own.

Flirting behavior towards those who are not our regular partners doesn’t have to be an offense to those partners. Obviously, we are walking here a fine line so one is to ensure not to abuse the trust one has been conferred with by the spouse or significant other.

Before judging too hastily, consider that the flirting person is exercising one of his or her most human prerogatives. Life is nothing but a game, not to be taken too seriously. A playful life is indeed a well lived life *

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Tanto los hombres como las mujeres la practican. Es una conducta que lo impregna todo. A veces es subconsciente y automática y otras veces consciente e intencional. El coqueteo es parte de la experiencia humana y no hay por qué avergonzarse de este. Por qué habría uno de avergonzarse de aquello que nace naturalmente? Al contrario, vergüenza debería dar los intentos de suprimir el coqueteo con la base de estrictas reglas morales o preceptos religiosos.

Flirtear no implica necesariamente un interés meramente sexual en el otro. Aunque terminar en la cama puede ser ciertamente la meta, más frecuentemente, el flirteo se trata de posibilidades y juegos. La posibilidad de abrir la puerta a nuevos mundos y relaciones. El juego de reglas abiertas, la expansión de la esfera de influencias y todo mientras uno se divierte. Cuando se examina en detalle, el fin último del coqueteo es incrementar la autoestima del otro mientras que la de uno también se incrementa.

El flirteo hacia aquellos que no son nuestra pareja fija no debe necesariamente interpretarse como una ofensa . Obviamente, esta es una línea muy fina y hay que tener cuidado en no abusar de la confianza conferida por la pareja fija.

Antes de juzgar apresuradamente, considere que la persona coqueta está ejerciendo una de sus prerrogativas más humanas. La vida no es más que un juego y como tal, no debe tomarse muy seriamente. Una vida lúdica es, ciertamente, una vida bien vivida *

2 Comments

  1. Flirting is terribly sexy especially when it’s subtle, and reciprocated. A one-sided flirtatious behavior can feed the me-too-movement with ill-conceived notions of harassment.

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    1. Yes, reciprocation is indispensable. Unfortunately, Weinstein and the likes have muddled things up, as far as what is natural human behavior. Thus public opinion have swung all the way in the other direction these days…. which is unfortunate and we kind of have lost the sense of what is normal and what not.

      Like

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